This banner text can have markup. Search the history of over billion web pages on the Internet. All Rights Reserved. I was flipping through the newspaper when I found an ad that read: "Sweeper Vac Driver needed. I'm really great doing over night work and decided that I'd give it a shot. I arrive at the office, fill out an application, and before I walked out of the door I was given the job and told to report for training the following evening.
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This banner text can have markup. Search the history of over billion web pages on the Internet. All Rights Reserved. I was flipping through the newspaper when I found an ad that read: "Sweeper Vac Driver needed. I'm really great doing over night work and decided that I'd give it a shot. I arrive at the office, fill out an application, and before I walked out of the door I was given the job and told to report for training the following evening. So, I reported to the office the following evening I was hoping to share a story or two with you guys.
If you like 'em. I've got TONS. I found a note taped to the door that told me to have a seat in the break room and that my trainer would be with me shortly. Well, eventually turned into when I had decided to say "fuck it" and walk out. As I was heading for the door, a very unkempt man wearing jeans and a dirty T-Shirt stumbled in. Here, take this stuff around back to our truck and I'll meet you out there.
I walked out, found our truck, and did some more waiting. Eventually, the guy comes back out with a bag full of stuff and sets it behind the seat. The guy finally introduces himself as Mark. He explained the finer points of the job. Mark and I got to know each other en route to the first place we had to clean. He's one of the coolest guy's I've ever met and continues to be a friend to this day.
He's got a really dry sense of humor, he's kind of a 0, and had been doing the job way too long. I got the hang of it midway through the night. It wasn't hard at all, just mind-numbingly dull manual labor. Happy to have someone to talk to, Mark kept me entertained the entire night with stuff he had seen "out there". He also let me in on the fact that the "Sweeper Vac Guys" are pretty tight knit just for how shitty a job it was, and that leaving the "FNG" in the break room is kind of a hazing.
After a quick coffee break, we pulled up to one of our last stops for the night. It was a Walgreen's dead in the center of the Nashville ghetto. I'm going to run across the street to our last stop of the night.
Go ahead and change the trashcans and check the back of the store for anything out of the ordinary. But, luckily for me, I grew up in D. I change the cans really quickly and went around back to "look for anything out of the ordinary". Usually, I'm really good about watching my back. Notice I said "usually". I was noting that the lights had been shot out when I heard something behind me. I whirled around to see a crack head standing a few feet from me.
Uh, do you have a light, man? Uh, do you got a dollar, man? I'm covered to my head in stink at 3am on a Friday night. Does it look like I have a dollar? The guy then pulls a knife from his jacket pocket. This is not going to happen. I'm covered head to toe in grime.
I'm exhausted, and now a crack head is trying to mug me on my first night at work. So I did the only thing I could do. Come on, man! Give me that wallet!
I hold up my hands, nod, and make like I'm reaching behind me for my wallet. Well, some asshat had missed the dumpster with a pallet earlier in the day and had left planks of wood scattered about behind me.
I grab a plank of wood, whip around, and crack it as hard as I can on the side of his face. He drops like a ton of bricks and I reached for the radio.
Some crack head just tried to mug be back here. I think I knocked him out. Do we need to call Metro PD or something? I reached down and felt a strong pulse on the guy but man was his face a wreck. I'm coming to pick you up, see you in a sec. A moment later, Mark comes roaring behind the store, stops, and looks at my handy-work. Later on that morning, he introduced me to everyone in the group. After showing off the pictures and bragging about "How his FNG dropped someone the first night" one of the other guys.
Jay, got me a cup of coffee. It was then that I found out that almost getting robbed was apart of the job and I handled it like it was supposed to be handled, ''-j I also found out that "FNG" stood for "Fuckin' New Guy.
I had gotten the job down pretty well and my nights were filled with talking to Mark. You see, out there at night, you start to go a little mark and I had been talking about the strange shit he's seen out here and doing a damn fine job of creeping me the hell out. He had just finished wrapping up a story about being chased by There was something out there chasing me. Something big wanted me, breathing down my next.
I think it smelled fear. I'm just telling ya there's stuff out here that we don't know about. So we pull onto a lot deep in the quiet suburbs of Nashville. We hop out and do our thing; Mark's in the front of the lot and I'm behind it checking things out.
I paused to light a smoke and thought about what Mark had said. I chalked it up to being the wind and went back to my smoke. I reached for the flashlight in my pocket and swept the beam around the area. As luck would have it, I didn't see a damn thing. Keep in mind that I was only into day 3 of training. The robber, and subsequent truck fires are still a few months off.
I was still pretty green. This can't be happening. I know it's you back there. I'm a 20 year old college student who did some growing up in the District of Fucking Columbia.
My first night I put the hurt on a fool who was trying to mug me. I'm 6'3, pounds, and meaner than shit. I can take down, beat up, or kill whatever the fuck is behind that wall. After my little pep talk, I took long, powerful strides to the gate that led into the dumpster area. I threw open the gate and hit everything with the flashlight. Not a damn thing there. Something ain't right about this. Not right at all.
I made the mistake of going to investigate further. I walked entirely into the gated area when a gust of wind blew the gate shut behind me. I heard something. Yeah, there was something in here. My mind immediately conjured up thoughts of a giant bloodthirsty beast. It sounded like there was something in the dumpster.
I made a move to flip it open when whatever was inside beat me to it. The dumpster lid flew open and the biggest goddamn raccoon I've ever seen jumped at me. This thing was the size of a dog and was none too happy that I had disturbed his dinner. I screamed like a girl.
I ripped the gate open and ran full steam away from the dumpster. The damn thing was following me!
The Chronicles of Bruiser, a street sweepers story.
Bajinn Bguiser guy finally introduces himself as Mark. Does it look like I have a dollar? Yeah, that needs an Outpost9 style website. When I burned out of college in spring ofI found myself needing cash in the worst kind of way.
BRUISER A STREET SWEEPER TALES PDF
Posted about 13 years ago edited about 13 years ago. Register Login. General Discussion. If you haven't heard about this, then where the hell have you guys been? Seriously, that is the most epic thread that I have seen on the internet and the most incredible stories that made me laugh, cry and I did , and think.
Bruiser: A Street Sweeper's Tale
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